I am slowing losing my mind. I thought I should document it.
…and then there’s me, sitting here sippin’ my coffee and dicking around on tumblr.
But I guess that’s what happens when you decide to cut off all your hair because you can no longer stand the clumps of it falling out because of your eating disorder and you think it might be less noticeable this way but really it isn’t.
Oops, did I say that?
Anonymous said: You will always be good enough
Thank you, kind stranger.
I am struggling to learn this every day.
Lots of #baking ahead today, but while my butter is softening, getting a jump on the week’s #blogging with my morning #coffee 😌
Muscle is created by repeatedly lifting things that have been designed to weigh us down. So when your shoulders feel heavy, stand up straight and lift your chin – call it exercise. When the world crumbles around you, you have to look at the wreckage and then build a new one out of all the pieces that are still here. Remember, you are still here.
The human heart beats approximately four thousand times per hour. Each pulse, each throb, each palpitation is a trophy engraved with the words ‘You are still alive.’
You are still alive.
Act like it.”
— Rudy Francisco, Complainers (via brattylifts)
— Me everyday (via hai-lei)
— (via kxthleen)
I did follow through on my Committed Action Plan when I got home. I sat down and had a very calm, controlled (i.e. nonemotional) conversation with my mom about why I’ve been so distant and irritable and unwilling to talk or be hugged the last few days. Basically I just said I’ve been having more flashbacks and panic attacks lately and it’s hard for me to interact with anyone, and even though I love her and want to spend time with her and show affection, I can’t do that right now. And she was really understanding. So I guess that was a major plus for the day.
But in retrospect I think verbalizing those things was also really upsetting and maybe why I struggled so much the rest of the night. But I know it was important for me to have that discussion with her, so I’m glad I did, I guess.